Life Uncontrollably Happens


Those who have talked to me recently know I’ve been extremely frustrated with allergies lately. It’s difficult to wear my contact lenses now because of my inflamed eyelids that won’t seem to go away. I took some eyedrops, hoped it was gone, and forced contacts back into my eyes. Only the inflammation wasn’t completely gone, and after a few days my contacts became quite uncomfortable again. The biggest thing bothering me was that my eyes have never dealt with allergies in the slightest before. “I don’t know why my contacts are irritating me all of a sudden! They’ve never been an issue until now,” I would rant to everyone.

“It can happen,” my doctor replied, prescribing stronger drops. His calmness shook me in the core, because he was filled with so much patience, a virtue crucial to what’s called life.

He wasn’t worried or stressed, and that’s when it hit me. My frustration with new problems arising despite the consistency of my actions is silly, because, the fact of the matter is, we are not in a controlled environment, where XYZ will always yield the same result. We are surrounded by perpetual minute changes. Therefore, life entails making adjustments throughout its course. More than that however, I emphasize the patience that goes hand in hand with the will to adjust.

This past month, after my eye drops didn’t work, I was ready to just switch to daily contacts instead of my usual monthly ones. My contacts only bother me after a few days, so why not completely change to daily contacts? Yet, my doctor just wanted me to continue my old drops and add a stronger set of allergy drops to try to heal the eyelids.

I was being impatient.

I made myself think the problem wasn’t in the inflammation of my eyelid but rather in the contact type I’ve been wearing otherwise peacefully for the past 10 years… Why? Probably because it’s easier to change contacts than my eyelid. It’s a classic case of the “cut off” culture that has become popular amongst my peers. It’s where someone starts cutting people off from their lives because, even if the relationship was made long ago, maybe there’s nothing good anymore. When things feel broken, we find a need to cancel or replace with something new, but actually all we have to do is find the patience for the readjustment period. Sometimes, friendships take tolls, but remember it’s because life isn’t a controlled environment. The accumulation of minute life changes that go unnoticed eventually lead to climactic events that reveal serious issues. Life is always changing, so everything is bound to run into malfunction eventually. There’s no need to cut off. Sometimes it just about waiting long enough to figure out the perfect readjustment.

Looking on the other side of things, acknowledging that we live in a perpetually changing world also opens up opportunities of what didn’t work in the past to work later on. For example, I wanted to write a novel in the beginning of college, but it wasn’t working out, so I cut off the dream. Maybe the time just wasn’t right then. Now, I’m interested in going back and giving that dream a chance again. We’ll see what happens. I’ll try to be patient.

Here’s to being more patient… with my eyes… with people… and with my dreams.

Because that’s what life is about. Patience and readjustments.




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